From Inadequacy to Enoughness

What does the word inadequacy mean to you?
This sense of feeling insufficient, incompetent, incapable, unqualified, or unable.

Have you kept yourself small because you don’t feel enough?
Or have you shrunk or constricted yourself because you feel too much?

Either way, it’s about fitting into what society deems as adequate.
Too afraid of what others think, our species often finds it safer to stay small — or shrink to become small.

The 48th Shadow of inadequacy, is in transit right now. According to Richard Rudd, author of The Gene Keys, can show up in our species in either the repressive or the reactive frequency. He writes about the repressive aspect of this shadow showing up as blandness — where our sense of inadequacy keeps us too afraid to look at the fear trapped in our bodies, and we conform to society’s fixed pattern for us, staying small.
The reactive aspect shows up as unscrupulous — feeding the sense of inadequacy in others to make ourselves feel ‘bigger’

It’s easy to spot those in our society who maintain their position of power by endorsing the sense of “not enough” or “too much.” Our politicians, old-school management systems, bullies…

And yet I see it unfolding between my grandchildren — only aged two and three and a half years old.
Some little shadowy part of my grandson has learned that by criticising and pointing out what what his little sister is doing, or creating, or building, as somehow “less than.”

There’s an innocence in it. He’s not being unscrupulous. He’s three.
This is part of his conditioning from society already. His exposure to even G-rated Disney movies has modelled this behaviour of criticism to him, shaping his approach.

And perhaps it’s here we can see the true unscrupulousness of how we are manipulated by what we consume on our screens — not only to influence how we spend our resources, but also how we walk through the world and relate to each other.

In spending time with my grandkids in a playground, as I often do, and tuning in to the communication between kids, this great manipulation is so evident.

And it continues to roll out through childhood, becoming worse as kids get older.
We have almost crisis levels of bullying in high schools at the moment.

Our little angels don’t just easily conform into staying small — they also conform into aligning with bullies to help themselves feel bigger.

The word gaslighting comes to mind.

If we’re honest with ourselves, we can witness it within ourselves, where our own ego will gaslight us, or others, even if we don’t say it out loud.
We all become victims of this inadequacy.

The trap is to point outwards at the gas-lighters, the narcissists, the bullies — and fail to recognise our part in this cycle, continuing to blame outwards.

This is ‘our’ issue.. as a species. It belongs to all of us.
It’s our responsibility to take some ownership of our own inner gas-lighter that creates the sense of deep inadequacy in us or points it out in others, and keeps the problem alive.

If I was harsh and angry with my grandson for what he has been conditioned to do, I am not helping him or my granddaughter.

So how do we approach this in our children?

We are all part of this.
And sometimes fierce self-honesty is what is required — not harsh self-judgement.
By having the self-awareness to observe, and then love ourselves through both our feelings of inadequacy, and also how we can put others down to help ourselves feel enough.

And then to forgive ourselves for this behaviour.

It doesn’t serve anyone to wallow in self-loathing.
We need to be gentle on ourselves.

And with our kids.

This sense of inadequacy comes in so young, and as parents, grandparents, caregivers of children, we fortunately can help shift this pattern.

Praise works wonders. When we give children genuine praise, it helps them feel confident and motivated. The most helpful kind of praise is specific and sincere—naming what they did well and why it matters. By focusing on their effort and actions, rather than only the end result, we encourage them to enjoy learning and keep trying, even when things are hard.

We do not want to inflate their little egos either, giving them a false sense of superiority.
“Oh little Johnny, you are the best drawer in the world!” will only leave little Johnny in the abyss of “not enoughness” when he learns he’s not.

That certainly doesn’t help the situation.

But feeding and nourishing their sense of value as a human for the gifts they do have — teaching them that we don’t have to have the same gifts as others to be enough.

And one of the most important things we can do to help our kids is to do the healing work on ourselves, and clean up our own inner landscape. To love ourselves through our sense of inadequacy and to transform it into the Gift frequency.

We are all unique sparks of the Divine, each with our own gifts to share.

The Gift of the 48th Gene Key is Resourcefulness — how we use our resources, both the inner and outer resources.

Instead of fearing that we don’t “know enough,” we learn to trust the wisdom that rises spontaneously in the moment.

Resourcefulness is born when we allow ourselves to respond from presence rather than rehearsed answers.

Each time fear or self-doubt arises, we can meet it with curiosity — “What gift is waiting for me in this?” — and often the creative solution reveals itself.

One of our greatest outer resource is community wisdom.
The Gift teaches us that we don’t have to hold all the answers alone.
Drawing on the perspectives, skills, and stories of others expands what’s possible.

And of course, nature.
The outer environment is endlessly resourceful — patterns in leaves, rivers, and animals often spark insight for human challenges.

And then using what’s already at hand — whether technology, art supplies, or a simple conversation — can become a channel for deep creativity when guided by trust in the inner source.

In essence, resourcefulness arises when fear softens into trust. When we trust that we are indeed adequate.

When stop seeing ourselves and life as lacking, we begin to play with what is already here — turning limitations into openings and challenges into wells of creativity.

And allowing the Wisdom of our own body to be our guide

You.
Are.
Enough.

Yes, you are