Softening out of Fear, and into Intuitive Wisdom

How Does Fear Play Out in Your Life?

Whether it’s a paralysing fear or a nagging doubt, fear is a part of being human.

Fear of the unknown, fear of lack, fear of death, fear of loss, fear of the future, fear of our power being taken away, fear of creepy-crawly things, or big things that lurk in the dark, murky waters.

Fears that dictate how we walk through our day to day — fear of what others think or being judged, fear of getting in trouble, fear of being seen, fear of not being seen, fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of success, fear of being broken-hearted, fear of social situations, fear of being alone.

The Many Flavours of Fear

There are many flavours of fear.
Sometimes fear utterly grips us, and sometimes it’s a subtle undercurrent that we forget is there — yet it still impacts our ability to live fully.

Fear imprints on us through the conditioning and influence of our parents, our society, and our leaders.
It comes through our DNA — the fears of our ancestors and bloodline living through us — and also through our lived experiences and trauma.

With the pace of life, the stresses we’re under, and the genuine pressure to pay our bills, have a roof over our heads, and get shit done, we often override our intuitive wisdom.

We allow the fear of not having enough, or not being enough, to rule our decision-making — playing out in our relationships, workplaces, and communities.

As humans, our survival is reliant on our instincts, so fear has its place.
There’s a reason we experience fear when we sense we’re being stalked, or when we enter the territory of an animal with big teeth or deadly poison.
Or when a severe storm, flood, or fire is coming.

This is part of our design to ensure the survival of our species — and it’s very much connected to our intuition.

Fear In My Life

As a mother, the fear for the safety of my children — even now as adults — still shows up. These days, I’m much better at recognising it as it rises, and tuning in to whether it’s an intuitive hit, or irrational.
Yet for much of my time as a mother, it would dislodge my connection to my inner wisdom, and I would become overly concerned for the wellbeing of my children, when I wasn’t with them to oversee their safety.

Sometimes this fear has undeniably been awakened by my intuition, and action has most definitely been required.

And sometimes, over the years, it’s been the irrational fear of the what ifs — disguised as worry.

What if they get hurt? What if they’re upset? What if they need me? What if they aren’t coping?...

I’ve had my strategies for dealing with that: from surrounding them with light and sending angels to protect them, to saying ‘no’ to them and inhibiting their freedom. Sometimes a must, in parenting when they are young.
As my kids move through the world as adults, I can no longer say no to them. Or create rules to keep them safe. I truly just have to trust. To surrender to the fact that my grown children are capable adults, and that ultimately I can’t control their safety, or how they feel. Letting go as a mother is truly important, both for mother and child. I can love, support and trust them, and trust life. Ultimately it’s out of my hands

Parental fear most certainly has its part in human survival, but it can become amplified and warped by unfounded fear. Hence we have the phenomenon of ‘Helicoptor’ parenting. Helicopter parenting, when parents are overly protective in their child’s life, constantly hovering to protect and control their experiences. While usually well-intentioned, this approach, born from fear, can not only limit a child’s independence, problem-solving skills, and resilience, and contribute to anxiety, it perpetuates the cycle of fear.

And then there’s how fear has played out in my experience, outside of parenting

Fear of being seen.
Fear of being vulnerable.
Fear of being judged, misjudged or misunderstood.
Fear of being found out as flawed. Fear of not being enough

These fears have had a strong presence in my adult life.

I became a master of disengaging.
Of slipping off quietly.
Of avoiding true intimacy.
Of disguising myself in a cloak of “I’m OK,” and wearing my shield of fierce independence — and, as the men in my life would attest to, wielding the sword of “Don’t get too close to me.”

I also became very good at not stepping towards my dreams, not taking action — staying securely in my comfort zone and not allowing myself to be seen, outside my close circles, and even then, within limits. I denied myself the experience of being truly seen, accepted and embraced by anyone, therefore often experiencing isolation.

And on the other side of that coin, as a closet people-pleaser, when my intuition was saying no, I’d say yes — putting myself in excruciating experiences which led me to tighten my shield and armour even more.

And then there’s how money has shaped my fear.

The scarcity mindset is rooted in the fear of not having enough — a primal survival instinct that’s been distorted by the times we live in, where the concept of enough is rarely enough, and the pursuit of more never ends. The belief in lack stems from a deep, primal fear — a survival mechanism twisted by the world where the chase for more never ends.

I’ve taken jobs that dimmed my light, bowing to the unspoken rules of what it means to belong and be “secure.”

With time and self-understanding, I’ve learned that the most beautiful moments of connection are born in vulnerability — in feeling the fear and choosing to open anyway.
To leap when my heart says yes, and to honour the times when stillness is wiser than action.
To speak and be seen beyond the edges of comfort, trusting that what I share will not land with everyone — and that’s perfectly as it should be — but it will reach the hearts it’s meant for.

Fear in the Gene Keys Field

Fear is woven into all of the human shadows — very potently in the 57th Shadow of Unease, currently in transit according to the philosophy of the Gene Keys, a system that visually integrates ancient traditions like Human Design, the I Ching, and Western astrology with modern sciences.

A transit is like an energetic weather pattern — a temporary influence affecting everyone.
Astrology is a well-known concept illustrating this.

The central map in Human Design is a circular chart that overlays the 64 Hexagrams of the I Ching onto a wheel aligned with astrological signs and planetary positions.
Each hexagram corresponds to a Gate in the Human Design BodyGraph, showing how the planets at your birth activate specific energies, themes, and potentials in your unique design.

In Human Design terms, the Sun is currently moving through the 57th Gate — and with the Sun being the cosmic body we orbit around, it becomes the dominant influence on Earth’s energy field for those few days.

And within this transit moves the opportunity — the gift and siddhi frequencies of the gate.
The Gift frequency of the 57 is Intuition.

“The 57th Gift of Intuition is basically your body’s system for interacting harmoniously with the outer world.
As you address the Shadow states that such a process naturally brings to light, you will witness a deepening sensitivity inside you to everything and everyone in the world around you.
This is what the 57th Gift of Intuition is about — it is the natural guidance system of all human beings.”
— Richard Rudd, The Gene Keys

The 57th Gene Key, in my personal profile, sits in my core wound. That unease can be strong in me, at a deep cellular level. Not a palpable fear, just a lurking feeling - those ‘What if’s. Knowing the difference between that inner guidance system communicating with me, asking me to listen to that unease. Or whether my imagination is getting the better of me.

From Fear to Intuition

So how do we move from fear and unease, into Intuition and Clarity ?

The first step is committing to gentleness with ourselves. And then being truly honest with ourselves, about how fear directs our lives, and the measures we put in place to avoid facing our fears. Or how we bend the knee to serve our shadows.

And when we are willing to look honestly at what is there with that gentleness, we can accept, allow, and embrace the fear.

There it is. I see you, fear. I allow you to be what you are. I accept you. And I embrace you — as a mother would a scared child, or as we might soothe a frightened animal. With calm. With softness. Gently, gently. Approaching with care and tenderness

Whether it was imprinted during our lived experiences, or simply part of being human — it’s there.

Recognising it and softening towards it.
Breathing.
Implementing daily practices to shake off the “stuff” we pick up just from walking through the world.

Softening our body, our heart, and our mind.

And in that place of softness, fear loosens its grip, and our intuitive wisdom becomes clearer.
We start to listen and follow our inner guidance system.
We trust.
We surrender.
We love more deeply and live more fully.

How Can You Soften a Little More Today?